Yesterday, I was feeling quite zapped. It was a combination of prepping for a series of job interviews while going out six days within the week. I felt I needed some alone time to meander and really sit with the sadness that was bottling inside of me.

I often say it’s hard to listen in on your intuition but it does have moments when it makes its presence known. I can feel it when I start becoming unmoored and listless. So I figured I would go to my happy place from last year. For the last few summers, I spent a lot of time in the City of Richmond. There was nothing much to do, we often just rented e-scooters and drove around the river walk. Or we would spend time at Aberdeen Centre and go on a food trip.

This year I did it alone. When I got to Aberdeen, I first went to the new food court and bought fried chicken skin at Monga. I read a travel book while I waited for my order. Afterwards, I made my way into the main mall and went to J.Sweets, my favourite place to get frozen mochi. I picked out double mango and peaches and cream. The lady, as usual, told me to wait 15 minutes for the mochis to defrost before eating it. I placed it in my bag and headed upstairs to the food court.

I ended up at Cherry’s Tofu House debating between a soft tofu stew or gamjatang. My love for meat won, and I ended up getting the pork bone stew for a meagre $10.44.

I then made my way back to the newer foodcourt. There’s a large hall one has to pass through before getting to the annex where the new foodcourt is. Within it, there’s a little installation of coloured wood shaped like a dragon. It’s a longer walk, with its twist and turns but not by much. Most people opt to just walk outside of the installation but I like using it. It makes me go slower and there’s a touch of fun to it.

At the “new” foodcourt, I find a seat in the corner. I sit there and write on my journal. I was planning to walk along the river way but the sun was still too strong at 5 in the afternoon. After awhile a customer next to me was finishing up and asked me if I wanted chicken popcorn. I let him repeat himself, unsure if he meant it for someone else at first. I declined and thanked him, letting him know I already had some earlier. He leaves.

After a few more minutes alone, I start packing my things and head down. I crossed the two blocks that leads to the riverwalk and start my stroll. After reaching the bridge crossing, I decide to go home, it was already sometime past seven. The sun was still high, I walked a few more blocks back to Lansdowne Centre. There were a few people walking the same direction too.

I didn’t have to wait long, and got a seat on the bus. It wasn’t rush hour anymore. It is mid-July, the days have gotten shorter again. The sun sets earlier than nine in the evening. Almost, the summer has gone by quickly.

My sadness is still there, but it has been morphing into nostalgia. I get home wanting to write, but I end up playing Don’t Starve Together until midnight. My sister comes into my room to chat. She has been feeling the rage. Earlier I also had a chat with my friend about their decision to not pursue residency in Canada.

Canada can be so infertile and hostile to immigrants in a way that I could not explain to those who only saw it with starry eyes. I think anyone who has arrived here gets it now. We just choose our battles.

I’m glad I spent some time alone. I can hear myself telling me “just write, just write. It’s okay. Everything works out. Things always fall into place.”

And I remember the year before, when I found myself in a similar situation. Things did work out. I met the most wonderful people the summer of last year.