An iridescent green

The kitchen, the bathroom, the floors, and the hallway. All needed dusting, mopping, scrubbing. The fridge needed cleaning, the windows needed wiping.

I’ve been simmering in resentment all May. Much of my time focused solely on chasing story after story. I felt like a child deprived of playtime. I am a child. I need to be a child.

Everyday felt like I was running and rushing to jump into a washing machine- coming out disoriented. The cycle would start again the next day.

I could not even celebrate when the cycle ended. The exhaustion took hold of me. A deep-seated exhaustion, so unusual, but so reasonable- that I retreated into the corner of my home.

I didn’t show up to the party. Couldn’t even muster a message of apology. I just turned off my phone and stared into the TV, then fell asleep.

The exhaustion is my reminder that I’m human. I’ve forgotten how much that institution pushes you like a well-oiled machine to churn, churn, churn.

Today, there is nothing to do. The semester is over. But there’s so much of my life that still needs fixing.

The doctor’s appointment, blood work, a garden that needs weeding.

Ahh, life doesn’t let up. It swallows you whole before you catch your breath.

I wish I could be an overturned bug in my garden, lying still on the soft earth, staring into the sky, revolution after revolution, letting mother earth take over.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.